By Sharon Jayson, USA TODAY
If your life is running on autopilot, there is new cause to break away and get in touch with your emotions.
"We're
so distracted by technology, there's a growing hunger for a renewed
connection with ourselves and what's happening in the moment," says
Daniel Goleman, whose 1995 best seller,
Emotional Intelligence, popularized the idea that there are other kinds of intelligence not measured by standard IQ tests.
Being
attentive to your emotional state doesn't make you self-absorbed —
rather, it can translate into benefits for health and well-being, say
those who have picked up the torch for this new movement.
FOR KIDS: Helping them understand emotions
Medical advances in brain imaging also have expanded our understanding of how brain activity relates to our emotions.
"The
scientific literature certainly shows a dramatic rise of research into
the emotions since the 1990s," says John Mayer, a personality
psychologist at the University of New Hampshire in Durham who was among
the first to discuss the existence of an "emotional" intelligence. "It
is possible that the increased research on emotions in the scientific
community is filtering into the public to some degree."
Good or bad, feelings drive us
Psychiatrist
John Sharp, who teaches at the medical schools of both Harvard
University and theUniversity of California Los Angeles, says the growing
awareness of emotions is relatively new.
Not too long ago, "there
was a kind of perceived virtue in not 'giving in to your feelings,' "
he says. "Now I think we are recognizing that our feelings drive our
states of either well-being or ill health."
Research has shown
that suppressing emotions can have health consequences, both physically
and emotionally; it has been linked with conditions including high blood
pressure, heart attack and liver disease.
Sharp, also a
neuro-psychiatrist, notes that functional magnetic resonance imaging
(MRI) lets researchers see changes in the brain — such as when someone
is feeling love or fear or is concentrating. Scientists couldn't do that
with X-rays, CT scans or MRIs until the relatively new step that
enables researchers to measure the tiny metabolic changes that take
place in an active part of the brain.
In his new book,
The Emotional Calendar,
Sharp says environmental, psychological and cultural factors affect
mood and behavior. He suggests the seasons do bring emotional ups and
downs — some people experience "winter doldrums," and others are
affected by personal anniversaries at certain times of the year.
"The
'Great Recession' and joblessness and challenges that came with it"
also have made people more aware of their emotions, suggests Travis
Bradberry, co-author of the 2009 book
Emotional Intelligence 2.0.
The "heavily charged political climate" has been a "particularly emotionally arousing period," he adds.
Bradberry
says many people still ignore their emotions, but it's a mistake to not
recognize that they can be a primary driver of behavior. "It's very
easy to get numb to our emotions," he says.
'Macho' man image fading
That's why New York City Psychotherapist Ronit Herzfeld says she created an iPhone app called Awareness ($3.99).
"The
first thing it does is it stops you. It says, 'What are you feeling
right now?' That's an unusual question," Herzfeld says. "It just gongs,
and the prompt says to record your feelings."
The application
invites users to take a deep breath, choose from eight mood categories
and 115 feelings within those moods. It also offers brief videos to help
people deal with these feelings. Herzfeld says the aim is to give
people a daily diary of their feelings to learn how much time is spent
feeling certain ways, such as happy or sad.
In fields such as
business and politics, showing emotions in public used to be a taboo,
but that seems to be changing — witness House Speaker John Boehner, who
is known for the public tears he sheds. Former presidents Bill Clinton
and George W. Bush also have expressed their emotions by crying
publicly.
Sharp says the "macho" idea to keep feelings hidden is fading, and outward displays of emotion are becoming more accepted.
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I love this idea. We all have positive events we can look back on. By staying content in what we have, we will have more self-confidence and joy!
